Of course there are so many mental illnesses that doing some sort of psychoanalyzing at a glance is pretty difficult. However, I'm going to break this down as best as possible and attempt to bring it back to Tila in a way that links up properly - as it should - because Tila absolutely seems to have this disorder. I would say no to dissociative identity disorder but yes to this. (Along with several other illnesses.) As I write this, funnily enough, Tila is spamming the hell out of her Twitter page with a ton of Histrionic-type stuff. At least I'll have some good reference points.
What is Histrionic Personality Disorder?
Histrionic Personality Disorder is a condition characterized by excessive emotionality and attention-seeking. This disorder is only diagnosed when these behaviors become persistent and very disabling or distressing.
Individuals with this disorder may have difficulty achieving emotional intimacy in romantic relationships. Without being aware of it, they often act out a role (e.g., "victim" or "princess"). They may seek to control their partner through emotional manipulation or seductiveness on one level, whereas displaying a marked dependency on them at another level. Individuals with this disorder often have impaired relationships with same-sex friends because of their sexually provocative behavior or their demands for constant attention. They crave novelty, stimulation, and excitement and have a tendency to become bored with their usual routine. Although they often initiate a job or project with great enthusiasm, their interest may lag quickly. The actual risk of suicide is not known, but individuals with this disorder are at increased risk for suicidal gestures and threats to get attention and coerce better care giving.
(Source.)
A background on Histrionic personality: Histrionic Personality Disorder has a long history dating back some 4,000 years when it was called hysteria. Today, the histrionic personality can be thought of as ranging from acceptable, mildly dramatic behavior, to unhealthy, potentially risky behaviors or characteristics. Individuals who display a few histrionic characteristics but function in generally healthy interactions with others are characterized as having a Histrionic Personality Style. Individuals who exhibit serious dysfunctional characteristics are clinically diagnosed as having Histrionic Personality Disorder. Here are some of the main characteristics and personality dynamics of Histrionic Personalities:
* Constantly seeks or demands reassurance, approval, or praise
* Overly concerned with physical attractiveness
* Sexually seductive in appearance and behavior
* Expresses emotion with inappropriate exaggeration; self-centered and little tolerance for delayed gratification
* Uncomfortable in situations where they cannot be the center of attention—have an intense need to be acting all the time
* Display strong but rapidly shifting and shallow emotions
* Utilize a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail
(Source.)
So I'm going to attempt to break these categories down, using only Tila's tweets from the past 24 hours, which will show how the pattern of HPD continues on and on...
Constantly seeks or demands reassurance, approval, or praise
"In the meantime I MUST finish reading this thing I'm studying about Quantum Physics I love it! I will be back in a few 2 alert u of new post"
"We were all born into this world the same way, pure & good...Until the DEVIL came around and took his brood, the world split in 2. I am good"
"What are yall all doing up? Getting ready for work?? or what? I wanna post up my CHAPTER 2 of "THE OTHERS" so bad already! UGH! WAKE UPPPP!"
Overly concerned with physical attractiveness
"PS-How PATHETICALLY JEALOUS ARE THE HATERS? THEY SPAMMED MY NEW ARMY OF THE WEEK'S TWITTER & YOUTUBE 2 FLAG SO THEY GOT HER DELETED" (cont'd) "HATERS, JEALOUS MUCH?? CAN'T HANDLE THE FACT THAT RAICHEE IS SMARTER, PRETTIER, & MORE INTELLIGENT THAN U SO U "FLAG" HER YOUTUBE & TWITTER?"
"@Raichee oh u are so beautiful!!! Im gonna post that video up ok my gossip blog ok? You are featured #TilaArmy! Fuck haters! im following u!"
Sexually seductive in appearance and behavior
Tila linked to an article on her "gossip blog" about No H8 that had her picture plastered on it.
Expresses emotion with inappropriate exaggeration; self-centered and little tolerance for delayed gratification
"As a matter of fact 1 of haters already went 2 jail for luring a 12 year old 2 talk 2 me & try 2 make me a bad guy. 2 others R SEX OFFENDERS"
"UR Commander in Chief is currently compiling more info for you guys so u can further know about the "DARK & SATANIC" people in the INDUSTRY!"
"#TilaArmy in FULL AFFECT! Let's go to WAR baby! Fighting off these Devil Worshipper's trying to fuck up our world & kill one another! NO!"
"SO ATTENTION ALL! PLEASE OPEN YOUR EYES AND EARS. I AM WRITING CHAPTER 2 OF "THE OTHERS" RIGHT NOW! DO NOT MISS THIS POST!!!! URGENT!"
"Ok Just got done with my Main #TilaArmy meeting w/main soldiers. This is URGENT! So now I am writing CHAPTER 2 of "THE OTHERS" RIGHT NOW!"
"It's urgent! I must discuss somethings with my General's NOW before we miss our deadline! So I will be back later ok? Keep holdin it down!"
Uncomfortable in situations where they cannot be the center of attention—have an intense need to be acting all the time
"As for people who would like to join #TILAARMY, RULE 1: DONT BE A WEAK ASS PUNK! IM A STRONG BITCH, SO MY SOLDIERS NEED TO BE JUST AS STRONG"
"IF you cannot handle the #TilaArmy BOOTCAMP, then you are not worthy to join our family! NO WEAK PEOPLE ALLOWED NOR CRY BABIES! JUST BEAST!"
"URGENT: #TilaArmy There has been a "RED ALERT" set off so I have to meet up w/my West Coast Tila Army General & East Coast to deal with this"
"PS-IN MY FIRST APPEARANCE IN 6 MONTHS ON YOUTUBE, I WILL MAKE THIS ONE A SPECIAL ONE! SO DONT MISS IT! UP IN 30 minutes or less! BRB!"
"OK NEW ARMY MEMBERS, FOLLOW EACH OTHER SINCE WE ARE A BIG FAMILY! MEANWHILE I WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A NEW VIDEO MESSAGE FOR YOU ALL! BRB!"
"BRB when I'm done so don't miss out on my FIRST VIDEO APPEARANCE IN 6 MONTHS!"
Display strong but rapidly shifting and shallow emotions
"HATERS=UNDERCOVER SUPER OBSESSED TILA FAN, BUT MISS TILA REJECTS THEM SO THEY CRY & CRY & SPAM MY SITE & CYBER BULLY MY REAL FANS! LOL"
"BOO HOO HATERS. U CANNOT JOIN MY ARMY, WILL NEVER BE FEATURED ON MY SITE, & WILL NEVER BE RESPONDED TO AGAIN BY MY ARMY! BYE BYE! LOL"
Utilize a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail
"@pkactus YES THEY ARE BUT FUCK THEM IM GATHERING ALL MY PEEPS TO STOP THEM AND YES WE CAN IF THERES ENOUGH OF US!"
"RT @xMissTilaLover: @TilaOMG Tila Thanks so thanks. I am speechlees and nearly crying :") This means so much to me. My role model my ido..."
"U GUYS READY TO MEET THE LATEST MEMBER OF OUR #TILAARMY FAMILY?? I JUST POSTED IN MY BLOG! =)"
"Ok Soldiers! You Commander in Chief will now be making a new video for
you and post on www.MissTilaOMG.com for our Sunday Sermon =)"
"Ok I just followed a gripload more of #TilaArmy, but remember the loyal ones always tell me who are snitches and fake soldiers & we delete!"
"I will follow back ALL #TILAARMY MEMBERS so you guys can all find each other and connect. WE ARE A FAMILY & WE STICK TOGETHER! POW=ERFUL!"
Clearly, she is actively seeking attention but has to find a way to make herself come off as the good one after "Jane" was around last week. Tila knows that she fucked up big time and therefore has to find a way to pin negativity somewhere else, as she cannot handle it. What's important to take note of here is that Tila is going after some of entertainment's most-beloved celebrities. It's because she hates the fact that she's Z-list at best. As someone who seems to suffer from HPD, the fact that not everyone loves her and gives her love and attention is killing her inside.
As of late, Tila has been writing obsessively about "The Others" as she calls them. That's her code for "The Illuminati." The Illuminati were members of a secret society created in Bavaria in the 18th century. They failed at what they were attempting to do and soon fell apart but there are people who still buy into the idea of this secret society, only this time around, The Illuminati are comprised of... well, according to Tila, celebrities like Lady Gaga and Beyonce. Oh, and they worship the devil and make secret pacts and things. (Note: This is not an original idea of Tila's. Illuminati stuff has been around for a loooooong time.) Because the Satan stuff got thrown into the mix, Tila had to remind everyone how she is an "Angel of God." And that it is her duty to save people - namely her fans - by making an online "Army" where she mostly just does a whole lot of nothing. Tila's wild theories are a result of her mental illness recipe. She has been Tweeting about her insomnia a lot lately, which she could possibly end up using as an excuse when this Illuminati ordeal blows over in about a week and a half.
Tila needs to start living via the rules of logic and The Universe. If she's delusional, attention-seeking, or both, no one knows. Her addiction is so debilitating that she seems completely unable to get the help that she desperately needs. Sure, it's a shame that her enablers (read: fans. See also: TILA ARMY!) continue to egg her on while she becomes crazier and crazier with minute that she's online and accessing them.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
DID and Tila: The alter, "Jane." (Part 2)
Hypothetically, let’s say that Tila does have dissociative identity disorder (which stems from childhood abuse and has to in order for her story to make any sense whatsoever). We’ll agree that she’s undergone the proper psychological examinations and has been in psychotherapy for at least a few months at a time, starting at least 12 years ago, when Tila was 16 ½ years old. (According to Tweets, “Jane” declared that she was around 10 years before Beyonce came out with “I Am… Sasha Fierce” which made its debut in 2008. From my understanding, “Jane” hadn’t made herself public before November of 2008.)
Because that – therapy – is how people discover that they are a multiple. I would really have to argue the theory that Tila is such a special snowflake that she is able to have such insight into the complex inner workings of her mind all on her own, without any help whatsoever from a professional outside source who is able to make such determinations – and, moreover, not just a moron who listened to “I Am… Sasha Fierce” too many times that they became consumed with the “really cool” idea of creating an alter ego.
Robert Oxnam, a successful China scholar and president of the Asia Society, is a well-known multiple. He even wrote down his story in his inspiring memoir. In it, he discusses how he never knew that he had DID until one of his alters, Tommy, lashed out at his psychiatrist during a session. That session, by the way, was going to be the last of Robert’s years of therapy. For alcoholism.
So let’s just agree, for now, that Tila’s able to check everything off of the list that would make her aware of her supposed dissociative identity disorder. We’ll roll our eyes and say that Jane really does exist. Just for now.
Jane is the alter that carved “chunks of meet” (not to be confused with chunks her baby) out of Tila’s arm. I assume her name came about because Tila, according to her website, considers herself a “plain-Jane,” despite obvious glaring contradictions that can be swept under the rug if you want to claim DID. (“Quite frankly, I was a bad kid,” Tila says, admitting she was also a plain-Jane tomboy. “I was lost, truly lost. I had no good role models, no one to really look after me. I ran around doing my own thing without a set group of friends to lean on.”) So it is Jane the hardcore hood rat… and she wears bandannas over her face and puts air guns to her head and talks really crazy ghetto bullshit that makes sense to no one else but her. (Video of “Jane” here.)
(Incidentally, there are more “alters” including one named Little Tila, who – being little enough to fit in a toilet – would of course know how to use the word “excruciating.” (Via ONTD.) Impressive for someone who, according to her official website, “grew up in Houston, Texas in an environment that mimicked many immigrant families who moved from poorer countries to the United States.” Little Tila even spelled e x c r u c i a t i n g correctly, though she did miss “meet.”)
I realize that this is probably really hard to follow but, for now, stick with me. Stick with me even though “Jane’s” words don’t fly out fluidly but, rather, the entire monologue seems like really terrible improvisation. The kind that would get people to roll their eyes at you in improv class because you are just so incredibly lame at it. And disregarding the fact that not all alters necessarily dress themselves up, we’ll continue along. So… Jane is a real alter of Tila’s. Clearly, Tila would be fully aware of Jane at this point, as she has “personally” referenced her in the past. Two questions:
a. How did everything but the computer and webcam get destroyed?
b. Why would Tila, fully aware that her alter tried to kill her, immediately get online in order to play show-and-tell with the public?
All right. Let’s also say that there’s some legitimate excuse for the camera and everything being just fine. I don’t know, maybe it occurred in a different room. (Disregard all proof about dates of pictures and things that TRS has discovered already.) But then that leaves b. Why would Tila air such dirty laundry? It’s difficult to really hit the nail on the forehead because I don’t personally have the same issues as Tila. Because no one shares her mind, the only thing to do is start looking at the big picture close up. Like Robert Oxnam, Tila does seem to be fractured (but not necessarily split). She does not behave the way that ‘regular’ people behave. Not everyone else is constantly on their social networking sites, posting such elaborate fantasies dreamed up in their minds that they then go on to call reality. Not everyone else would go out of their way to make up an elaborate hoax, knowing full well that the majority of her fans are young, impressionable, and eager to soak up her drama because she’s the lady from television who says that she’s rich and famous all for doing wild and crazy things that anyone with half a brain could do. Even them. Look at it from their perspective: in the eyes of her fans, Tila is really cool. She’s an adult because she lives alone and has money and gets to go to glitzy red carpet events but she’s “fun” enough to share all of the intimate details of celebrity world with them just as long as they promise to keep loving her and feeding her attention and lingering on each and every word she types. Because these are kids. Or perverts. Either way, it’s a mutual addiction and neither side is willing to let go. Not just yet.
Now, what does worry me is this: if Tila really does have dissociative identity disorder, why isn’t she getting help for it? And, if she is getting help, why keep that a secret when only the crazy stuff gets posted? Why would she stop there and not give full details? It is possible – maybe not probable – that those feelings in her therapy sessions are just too raw to be shared so she has to act out her weird impulses in other ways. Or maybe one of her alters is really stopping her from opening those gates to everyone. It could be that she has to fake everything because she needs to keep what really happened to her hidden from everyone else. It could be that she always wants to be pregnant so she could save that child from harm. And it could be that she legitimately tricks herself into believing that she’s pregnant because she so badly wants to take care of that part of herself that she had to dissociate away from during that first trauma. But those are only theories.
Maybe, probably, she’s just a huge liar, one who is so obsessed with fame that she’s not ashamed of showcasing how terribly she is willing to ruin anything – her well-being and the well-being of others – in order to be “famous.”
The people who Tila really needs to thank are the ones who alerted the proper authorities about “Jane’s” antics – like The RotSpot’s Fatty McFatterson, for example. Because it’s so hard to sort out the truths from the lies, Fatty went out of her way to make sure that what was posted was looked into. Yes, to us it is absurd that Tila is now going out of her way to bash the person(s) responsible for getting her the right kind of attention. To her, it makes perfect sense because (a) she may really need those walls placed around her alter palace, or (b) she’s all pissed off that her ploy for more media attention got all pissed on and, damnit, it’s just not any fair at all! ::huge tantrum::.
If you’re not exhausted from all of that hypothetical stuff and could put yourself through a bit more, I’ll carry on for just a few moments longer. There is a legitimate possibility that Tila does have dissociative identity disorder and is genuinely mortified that she got in actual trouble for it instead of being safe inside her mind, inside her body, inside her private home where real-life things happen. And because that real world got affected, she could have dissociated back into the part of her that says crazy and outlandish things to divert attention. Why not go after something even more insane to comprehend than Tila’s mind – the “Illuminati.” It’s a decent enough risk to take, given the huge popularity of the artists she has ripped into. In Tila’s mind, this works perfectly because she doesn’t see her “thoughts” for what they really are: delusions.
Because Tila has cried wolf so many times, she’s going to continue to be outed. She’s going to continue being outed because she can’t stop lying, saying crazy things, and buying into urban legends. Because she thinks that this is all going to keep her famous, and that’s what she’s aiming for, DID or not. But, in time, everyone is going to get sick of her. I predict that’ll be her rock bottom… but who knows for sure when it comes to Tila?
Now that all of the hypothetical stuff is over, it is time to move on from DID (at least for now) and try to keep up with what’s going on in the exhausting world of Tila Tequila.
Because that – therapy – is how people discover that they are a multiple. I would really have to argue the theory that Tila is such a special snowflake that she is able to have such insight into the complex inner workings of her mind all on her own, without any help whatsoever from a professional outside source who is able to make such determinations – and, moreover, not just a moron who listened to “I Am… Sasha Fierce” too many times that they became consumed with the “really cool” idea of creating an alter ego.
Robert Oxnam, a successful China scholar and president of the Asia Society, is a well-known multiple. He even wrote down his story in his inspiring memoir. In it, he discusses how he never knew that he had DID until one of his alters, Tommy, lashed out at his psychiatrist during a session. That session, by the way, was going to be the last of Robert’s years of therapy. For alcoholism.
So let’s just agree, for now, that Tila’s able to check everything off of the list that would make her aware of her supposed dissociative identity disorder. We’ll roll our eyes and say that Jane really does exist. Just for now.
Jane is the alter that carved “chunks of meet” (not to be confused with chunks her baby) out of Tila’s arm. I assume her name came about because Tila, according to her website, considers herself a “plain-Jane,” despite obvious glaring contradictions that can be swept under the rug if you want to claim DID. (“Quite frankly, I was a bad kid,” Tila says, admitting she was also a plain-Jane tomboy. “I was lost, truly lost. I had no good role models, no one to really look after me. I ran around doing my own thing without a set group of friends to lean on.”) So it is Jane the hardcore hood rat… and she wears bandannas over her face and puts air guns to her head and talks really crazy ghetto bullshit that makes sense to no one else but her. (Video of “Jane” here.)
(Incidentally, there are more “alters” including one named Little Tila, who – being little enough to fit in a toilet – would of course know how to use the word “excruciating.” (Via ONTD.) Impressive for someone who, according to her official website, “grew up in Houston, Texas in an environment that mimicked many immigrant families who moved from poorer countries to the United States.” Little Tila even spelled e x c r u c i a t i n g correctly, though she did miss “meet.”)
I realize that this is probably really hard to follow but, for now, stick with me. Stick with me even though “Jane’s” words don’t fly out fluidly but, rather, the entire monologue seems like really terrible improvisation. The kind that would get people to roll their eyes at you in improv class because you are just so incredibly lame at it. And disregarding the fact that not all alters necessarily dress themselves up, we’ll continue along. So… Jane is a real alter of Tila’s. Clearly, Tila would be fully aware of Jane at this point, as she has “personally” referenced her in the past. Two questions:
a. How did everything but the computer and webcam get destroyed?
b. Why would Tila, fully aware that her alter tried to kill her, immediately get online in order to play show-and-tell with the public?
All right. Let’s also say that there’s some legitimate excuse for the camera and everything being just fine. I don’t know, maybe it occurred in a different room. (Disregard all proof about dates of pictures and things that TRS has discovered already.) But then that leaves b. Why would Tila air such dirty laundry? It’s difficult to really hit the nail on the forehead because I don’t personally have the same issues as Tila. Because no one shares her mind, the only thing to do is start looking at the big picture close up. Like Robert Oxnam, Tila does seem to be fractured (but not necessarily split). She does not behave the way that ‘regular’ people behave. Not everyone else is constantly on their social networking sites, posting such elaborate fantasies dreamed up in their minds that they then go on to call reality. Not everyone else would go out of their way to make up an elaborate hoax, knowing full well that the majority of her fans are young, impressionable, and eager to soak up her drama because she’s the lady from television who says that she’s rich and famous all for doing wild and crazy things that anyone with half a brain could do. Even them. Look at it from their perspective: in the eyes of her fans, Tila is really cool. She’s an adult because she lives alone and has money and gets to go to glitzy red carpet events but she’s “fun” enough to share all of the intimate details of celebrity world with them just as long as they promise to keep loving her and feeding her attention and lingering on each and every word she types. Because these are kids. Or perverts. Either way, it’s a mutual addiction and neither side is willing to let go. Not just yet.
Now, what does worry me is this: if Tila really does have dissociative identity disorder, why isn’t she getting help for it? And, if she is getting help, why keep that a secret when only the crazy stuff gets posted? Why would she stop there and not give full details? It is possible – maybe not probable – that those feelings in her therapy sessions are just too raw to be shared so she has to act out her weird impulses in other ways. Or maybe one of her alters is really stopping her from opening those gates to everyone. It could be that she has to fake everything because she needs to keep what really happened to her hidden from everyone else. It could be that she always wants to be pregnant so she could save that child from harm. And it could be that she legitimately tricks herself into believing that she’s pregnant because she so badly wants to take care of that part of herself that she had to dissociate away from during that first trauma. But those are only theories.
Maybe, probably, she’s just a huge liar, one who is so obsessed with fame that she’s not ashamed of showcasing how terribly she is willing to ruin anything – her well-being and the well-being of others – in order to be “famous.”
The people who Tila really needs to thank are the ones who alerted the proper authorities about “Jane’s” antics – like The RotSpot’s Fatty McFatterson, for example. Because it’s so hard to sort out the truths from the lies, Fatty went out of her way to make sure that what was posted was looked into. Yes, to us it is absurd that Tila is now going out of her way to bash the person(s) responsible for getting her the right kind of attention. To her, it makes perfect sense because (a) she may really need those walls placed around her alter palace, or (b) she’s all pissed off that her ploy for more media attention got all pissed on and, damnit, it’s just not any fair at all! ::huge tantrum::.
If you’re not exhausted from all of that hypothetical stuff and could put yourself through a bit more, I’ll carry on for just a few moments longer. There is a legitimate possibility that Tila does have dissociative identity disorder and is genuinely mortified that she got in actual trouble for it instead of being safe inside her mind, inside her body, inside her private home where real-life things happen. And because that real world got affected, she could have dissociated back into the part of her that says crazy and outlandish things to divert attention. Why not go after something even more insane to comprehend than Tila’s mind – the “Illuminati.” It’s a decent enough risk to take, given the huge popularity of the artists she has ripped into. In Tila’s mind, this works perfectly because she doesn’t see her “thoughts” for what they really are: delusions.
Because Tila has cried wolf so many times, she’s going to continue to be outed. She’s going to continue being outed because she can’t stop lying, saying crazy things, and buying into urban legends. Because she thinks that this is all going to keep her famous, and that’s what she’s aiming for, DID or not. But, in time, everyone is going to get sick of her. I predict that’ll be her rock bottom… but who knows for sure when it comes to Tila?
Now that all of the hypothetical stuff is over, it is time to move on from DID (at least for now) and try to keep up with what’s going on in the exhausting world of Tila Tequila.
DID and Tila: At a glance. (Part 1)
Dissociative Identity Disorder is the now-official term for those 'hosts' who have dissociated into the 'alters' that their mind created as a coping mechanism for excessive trauma. These 'traumas' usually occur when the 'host' is very young and unaware of the dangers that lie within the world. As soon as the child dealt his or her first traumatic moment, his or her mind can 'split,' thus creating a new person to live the trauma while the other can go off and explore the horizons of their imagination. With continual trauma comes more, prolonged dissociation. On a long enough timeline, you can have an infinite amount of alters. You can get lost inside your head.
Is it possible that this has happened to Tila Tequila? Yes.
So where is the problem?
The problem lies in Tila. We don't know who she is. She might not even know who she is. What we have to go by are her nutty ramblings, whether it's via blog, or video, or some snippet of her grating, nails-on-chalkboard Marlboro Reds rasp. But it could very well be that what we see is just an alter. It could also be possible that she's faking absolutely everything and her problem is a mere addiction to the limelight. In either case, she is still interesting enough to be a case study. Not an army sergeant, not a mentor, not a babysitter, not even someone that you'd ask to watch your things while you go take a pee. But as a case study, yeah, she's pretty up there with her wild proclamations and lulzy stunts.
Despite the fact that this is still Tila, I want to approach the beginnings of DID in a delicate manner, as to be respectful of those who have legitimately suffered. Dissociative Identity Disorder, as I've stated previously, is a coping mechanism for trauma. That trauma is most often severe sexual abuse of children, starting at a very young age when the mind is more susceptible to splitting. It is true that everyone "naturally" dissociates to a degree, but mostly we are all one within ourselves. There are no alters living in your mind, which - typically - has transformed itself into some sort of housing complex. For some, it is a castle. For others, a house. There are various shelters that can be dreamt up in our imaginations.
If Tila, right now, has never undergone psychotherapy or psychological testing (most likely for a prolonged period of time), it is extremely rare that she knows that she has DID. Most DID patients are completely unaware of it. They live their lives in their "normal" way, without ever knowing what's really happening inside their minds. There may be inklings - losing time, memory lapses, confusion, disorientation - but it's through the work of psychotherapy that brings alters out to the forefront. Remember, it is the role of the alter to protect their host in some capacity. (But that does not mean that alters cannot be destructive. They can be. They just feel that what they are doing is what is needed.)
I recall reading one of Tila's blogs where she ambiguously stated that she had been the victim of childhood sexual abuse. Even if that blog never existed or has since been deleted, one look at Tila's "dating record" would be enough to clue in even the most vapid. (Or maybe not....) It is assumed that Tila enjoys sleeping around. Now, that isn't to say that promiscuity is always the direct path from childhood sexual abuse, because it isn't. However, her sexuality is constantly played up. These, and other adult manifestations of childhood sexual abuse, point in the direction of Tila. Just by looking at her images and reading her ramblings, we can determine that she exhibits the following symptoms:
* Physical Presentations
* Chronic pelvic pain
* Gastrointestinal symptoms/distress
* Insomnia, sleep disorders
* Pseudocyesis
* Sexual dysfunction
* Addiction
* Psychologic and Behavioral Presentations
* Depression and anxiety
* Post Traumatic stress disorder symptoms
* Dissociative states
* Repeated self-injury
* Suicide attempts (Hoax or not, it's sick.)
* Lying, stealing, running away
* Poor contraceptive practices
* Compulsive sexual behaviors
* Sexual dysfunction
* Poor adherence to medical recommendations
* Intolerance of or constant search for intimacy
* Expectation of early death
Whether there's one symptom, or ten, or a hundred, there is a real possibility that Tila might have suffered severe sexual abuse in her childhood. On the other hand, we hardly ever know what's real, what's a delusion, and what's in-between. Tila's history of confirmed lies is pretty epic. I'll attempt to carve some sort of path out of the muck.
Is it possible that this has happened to Tila Tequila? Yes.
So where is the problem?
The problem lies in Tila. We don't know who she is. She might not even know who she is. What we have to go by are her nutty ramblings, whether it's via blog, or video, or some snippet of her grating, nails-on-chalkboard Marlboro Reds rasp. But it could very well be that what we see is just an alter. It could also be possible that she's faking absolutely everything and her problem is a mere addiction to the limelight. In either case, she is still interesting enough to be a case study. Not an army sergeant, not a mentor, not a babysitter, not even someone that you'd ask to watch your things while you go take a pee. But as a case study, yeah, she's pretty up there with her wild proclamations and lulzy stunts.
Despite the fact that this is still Tila, I want to approach the beginnings of DID in a delicate manner, as to be respectful of those who have legitimately suffered. Dissociative Identity Disorder, as I've stated previously, is a coping mechanism for trauma. That trauma is most often severe sexual abuse of children, starting at a very young age when the mind is more susceptible to splitting. It is true that everyone "naturally" dissociates to a degree, but mostly we are all one within ourselves. There are no alters living in your mind, which - typically - has transformed itself into some sort of housing complex. For some, it is a castle. For others, a house. There are various shelters that can be dreamt up in our imaginations.
If Tila, right now, has never undergone psychotherapy or psychological testing (most likely for a prolonged period of time), it is extremely rare that she knows that she has DID. Most DID patients are completely unaware of it. They live their lives in their "normal" way, without ever knowing what's really happening inside their minds. There may be inklings - losing time, memory lapses, confusion, disorientation - but it's through the work of psychotherapy that brings alters out to the forefront. Remember, it is the role of the alter to protect their host in some capacity. (But that does not mean that alters cannot be destructive. They can be. They just feel that what they are doing is what is needed.)
I recall reading one of Tila's blogs where she ambiguously stated that she had been the victim of childhood sexual abuse. Even if that blog never existed or has since been deleted, one look at Tila's "dating record" would be enough to clue in even the most vapid. (Or maybe not....) It is assumed that Tila enjoys sleeping around. Now, that isn't to say that promiscuity is always the direct path from childhood sexual abuse, because it isn't. However, her sexuality is constantly played up. These, and other adult manifestations of childhood sexual abuse, point in the direction of Tila. Just by looking at her images and reading her ramblings, we can determine that she exhibits the following symptoms:
* Physical Presentations
* Chronic pelvic pain
* Gastrointestinal symptoms/distress
* Insomnia, sleep disorders
* Pseudocyesis
* Sexual dysfunction
* Addiction
* Psychologic and Behavioral Presentations
* Depression and anxiety
* Post Traumatic stress disorder symptoms
* Dissociative states
* Repeated self-injury
* Suicide attempts (Hoax or not, it's sick.)
* Lying, stealing, running away
* Poor contraceptive practices
* Compulsive sexual behaviors
* Sexual dysfunction
* Poor adherence to medical recommendations
* Intolerance of or constant search for intimacy
* Expectation of early death
Whether there's one symptom, or ten, or a hundred, there is a real possibility that Tila might have suffered severe sexual abuse in her childhood. On the other hand, we hardly ever know what's real, what's a delusion, and what's in-between. Tila's history of confirmed lies is pretty epic. I'll attempt to carve some sort of path out of the muck.
An Introduction of Sorts
What I've learned about Tila Tequila in the past few months is this: she's legit crazy. There's really no other way around it. The woman is completely bananas. There is no sane person on this Earth that would make up atrociously dark fairy tales and pretend that they were real, only to garner sympathy from people because they can't find their way out of lying. Tila started a long, long time ago with one small lie. And she got away with it. And then she lied some more, which culminated into a web of gigantic fuckery, too big for her to control anymore. Throw some narcotics into the mix and you're left with a really gross, disturbing mess that would need lots of time (AWAY FROM THE INTERNET) to untangle. But Tila's addictive behavior is continuing the asinine march forward into what will eventually result in her "rock bottom." Though she might not have hit it yet, she'll get there soon enough if she doesn't start to clean herself up.
Where Tila's at right now is tucked away inside of her delusional mind (I wouldn't be surprised if she's set it up as a sort of castle, wherein she is the princess), making up story after story because she's very sick and has an addiction to "celebrity." What Tila does not and cannot comprehend is the fact that in the "real" world, she is useless and bears no significant weight. In her own world, she is the shiny, lovable center that just glows with life, love, and all the fame she could ever hope to achieve. When she leaves her bubble - i.e., reads disparaging remarks about herself in the "real world" she has a tantrum and does something ridiculous, most probably to win back just a few sympathy points and, for sure, to excuse her past behavior by supplying some new concoction that she dreamed up in order to bury the old lie. What Tila cannot seem to comprehend is that she's only digging herself deeper. On some basic human level she must realize that she so badly needs some sort of help but her mental illness is acting as a barricade.
Now, I'm in no way defending Tila; in fact, I think she's become a terrible person. In order to be that awful, though, a traumatic event must have occurred somewhere in her life. What that issue is, probably no one will ever know but Tila, and that's fine. The only person it actually matters to is Tila herself. If she refuses to seek help for the issue she so obviously needs resolved then she's at fault for her own demise. She can't continue to blame her follies on the "jelis haters" out there just for calling her out on all of her bullshit. Let me repeat that, but in more 'basic' English: TILA CANNOT BLAME OTHERS FOR TILA'S SITUATION. She is not actually being 'stalked' and such claims, like ones that she has made in the past, are dangerous to the welfare of quote-unquote normal individuals.
There are many ramblings which point to various mental disorders: Dissociative Identity, Paranoid Schizophrenic, Bipolar, Histrionic Personality, etc. Tila claims to suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and she might not be lying about that. What she has been lying about, though, were the circumstances that culminated in developing PTSD. She's said a lot of crazy shit, therefore I am interested in "dissecting" Tila. Not, you know, in that gross autopsy-kinda way or anything. But to really attempt to get to the core of her psychological malfunctions. I'm not a licensed professional, not a psychology major, not a fan nor a 'jelis hater.' And, I do not know Tila personally. I just want to attempt to keep up with one of America's most obvious cases of celebutard while attempting to get a glimpse at something concrete.
Where Tila's at right now is tucked away inside of her delusional mind (I wouldn't be surprised if she's set it up as a sort of castle, wherein she is the princess), making up story after story because she's very sick and has an addiction to "celebrity." What Tila does not and cannot comprehend is the fact that in the "real" world, she is useless and bears no significant weight. In her own world, she is the shiny, lovable center that just glows with life, love, and all the fame she could ever hope to achieve. When she leaves her bubble - i.e., reads disparaging remarks about herself in the "real world" she has a tantrum and does something ridiculous, most probably to win back just a few sympathy points and, for sure, to excuse her past behavior by supplying some new concoction that she dreamed up in order to bury the old lie. What Tila cannot seem to comprehend is that she's only digging herself deeper. On some basic human level she must realize that she so badly needs some sort of help but her mental illness is acting as a barricade.
Now, I'm in no way defending Tila; in fact, I think she's become a terrible person. In order to be that awful, though, a traumatic event must have occurred somewhere in her life. What that issue is, probably no one will ever know but Tila, and that's fine. The only person it actually matters to is Tila herself. If she refuses to seek help for the issue she so obviously needs resolved then she's at fault for her own demise. She can't continue to blame her follies on the "jelis haters" out there just for calling her out on all of her bullshit. Let me repeat that, but in more 'basic' English: TILA CANNOT BLAME OTHERS FOR TILA'S SITUATION. She is not actually being 'stalked' and such claims, like ones that she has made in the past, are dangerous to the welfare of quote-unquote normal individuals.
There are many ramblings which point to various mental disorders: Dissociative Identity, Paranoid Schizophrenic, Bipolar, Histrionic Personality, etc. Tila claims to suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and she might not be lying about that. What she has been lying about, though, were the circumstances that culminated in developing PTSD. She's said a lot of crazy shit, therefore I am interested in "dissecting" Tila. Not, you know, in that gross autopsy-kinda way or anything. But to really attempt to get to the core of her psychological malfunctions. I'm not a licensed professional, not a psychology major, not a fan nor a 'jelis hater.' And, I do not know Tila personally. I just want to attempt to keep up with one of America's most obvious cases of celebutard while attempting to get a glimpse at something concrete.
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