DID and Tila: At a glance. (Part 1)

Dissociative Identity Disorder is the now-official term for those 'hosts' who have dissociated into the 'alters' that their mind created as a coping mechanism for excessive trauma. These 'traumas' usually occur when the 'host' is very young and unaware of the dangers that lie within the world. As soon as the child dealt his or her first traumatic moment, his or her mind can 'split,' thus creating a new person to live the trauma while the other can go off and explore the horizons of their imagination. With continual trauma comes more, prolonged dissociation. On a long enough timeline, you can have an infinite amount of alters. You can get lost inside your head.

Is it possible that this has happened to Tila Tequila? Yes.

So where is the problem?

The problem lies in Tila. We don't know who she is. She might not even know who she is. What we have to go by are her nutty ramblings, whether it's via blog, or video, or some snippet of her grating, nails-on-chalkboard Marlboro Reds rasp. But it could very well be that what we see is just an alter. It could also be possible that she's faking absolutely everything and her problem is a mere addiction to the limelight. In either case, she is still interesting enough to be a case study. Not an army sergeant, not a mentor, not a babysitter, not even someone that you'd ask to watch your things while you go take a pee. But as a case study, yeah, she's pretty up there with her wild proclamations and lulzy stunts.

Despite the fact that this is still Tila, I want to approach the beginnings of DID in a delicate manner, as to be respectful of those who have legitimately suffered. Dissociative Identity Disorder, as I've stated previously, is a coping mechanism for trauma. That trauma is most often severe sexual abuse of children, starting at a very young age when the mind is more susceptible to splitting. It is true that everyone "naturally" dissociates to a degree, but mostly we are all one within ourselves. There are no alters living in your mind, which - typically - has transformed itself into some sort of housing complex. For some, it is a castle. For others, a house. There are various shelters that can be dreamt up in our imaginations.

If Tila, right now, has never undergone psychotherapy or psychological testing (most likely for a prolonged period of time), it is extremely rare that she knows that she has DID. Most DID patients are completely unaware of it. They live their lives in their "normal" way, without ever knowing what's really happening inside their minds. There may be inklings - losing time, memory lapses, confusion, disorientation - but it's through the work of psychotherapy that brings alters out to the forefront. Remember, it is the role of the alter to protect their host in some capacity. (But that does not mean that alters cannot be destructive. They can be. They just feel that what they are doing is what is needed.)

I recall reading one of Tila's blogs where she ambiguously stated that she had been the victim of childhood sexual abuse. Even if that blog never existed or has since been deleted, one look at Tila's "dating record" would be enough to clue in even the most vapid. (Or maybe not....) It is assumed that Tila enjoys sleeping around. Now, that isn't to say that promiscuity is always the direct path from childhood sexual abuse, because it isn't. However, her sexuality is constantly played up. These, and other adult manifestations of childhood sexual abuse, point in the direction of Tila. Just by looking at her images and reading her ramblings, we can determine that she exhibits the following symptoms:

* Physical Presentations
* Chronic pelvic pain
* Gastrointestinal symptoms/distress
* Insomnia, sleep disorders
* Pseudocyesis
* Sexual dysfunction
* Addiction
* Psychologic and Behavioral Presentations
* Depression and anxiety
* Post Traumatic stress disorder symptoms
* Dissociative states
* Repeated self-injury
* Suicide attempts (Hoax or not, it's sick.)
* Lying, stealing, running away
* Poor contraceptive practices
* Compulsive sexual behaviors
* Sexual dysfunction
* Poor adherence to medical recommendations
* Intolerance of or constant search for intimacy
* Expectation of early death

Whether there's one symptom, or ten, or a hundred, there is a real possibility that Tila might have suffered severe sexual abuse in her childhood. On the other hand, we hardly ever know what's real, what's a delusion, and what's in-between. Tila's history of confirmed lies is pretty epic. I'll attempt to carve some sort of path out of the muck.

An Introduction of Sorts

What I've learned about Tila Tequila in the past few months is this: she's legit crazy. There's really no other way around it. The woman is completely bananas. There is no sane person on this Earth that would make up atrociously dark fairy tales and pretend that they were real, only to garner sympathy from people because they can't find their way out of lying. Tila started a long, long time ago with one small lie. And she got away with it. And then she lied some more, which culminated into a web of gigantic fuckery, too big for her to control anymore. Throw some narcotics into the mix and you're left with a really gross, disturbing mess that would need lots of time (AWAY FROM THE INTERNET) to untangle. But Tila's addictive behavior is continuing the asinine march forward into what will eventually result in her "rock bottom." Though she might not have hit it yet, she'll get there soon enough if she doesn't start to clean herself up.

Where Tila's at right now is tucked away inside of her delusional mind (I wouldn't be surprised if she's set it up as a sort of castle, wherein she is the princess), making up story after story because she's very sick and has an addiction to "celebrity." What Tila does not and cannot comprehend is the fact that in the "real" world, she is useless and bears no significant weight. In her own world, she is the shiny, lovable center that just glows with life, love, and all the fame she could ever hope to achieve. When she leaves her bubble - i.e., reads disparaging remarks about herself in the "real world" she has a tantrum and does something ridiculous, most probably to win back just a few sympathy points and, for sure, to excuse her past behavior by supplying some new concoction that she dreamed up in order to bury the old lie. What Tila cannot seem to comprehend is that she's only digging herself deeper. On some basic human level she must realize that she so badly needs some sort of help but her mental illness is acting as a barricade.

Now, I'm in no way defending Tila; in fact, I think she's become a terrible person. In order to be that awful, though, a traumatic event must have occurred somewhere in her life. What that issue is, probably no one will ever know but Tila, and that's fine. The only person it actually matters to is Tila herself. If she refuses to seek help for the issue she so obviously needs resolved then she's at fault for her own demise. She can't continue to blame her follies on the "jelis haters" out there just for calling her out on all of her bullshit. Let me repeat that, but in more 'basic' English: TILA CANNOT BLAME OTHERS FOR TILA'S SITUATION. She is not actually being 'stalked' and such claims, like ones that she has made in the past, are dangerous to the welfare of quote-unquote normal individuals.

There are many ramblings which point to various mental disorders: Dissociative Identity, Paranoid Schizophrenic, Bipolar, Histrionic Personality, etc. Tila claims to suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and she might not be lying about that. What she has been lying about, though, were the circumstances that culminated in developing PTSD. She's said a lot of crazy shit, therefore I am interested in "dissecting" Tila. Not, you know, in that gross autopsy-kinda way or anything. But to really attempt to get to the core of her psychological malfunctions. I'm not a licensed professional, not a psychology major, not a fan nor a 'jelis hater.' And, I do not know Tila personally. I just want to attempt to keep up with one of America's most obvious cases of celebutard while attempting to get a glimpse at something concrete.